Tuesday, January 10, 2012

An Airing of the Grievances

The time has come for an airing of the grievances, and answers to the questions that keep flowing in.

Q: Are you guys really thinking of moving?
Q: Why am I just finding out about this?
Q: If not here, where?
Q: Do you know there are, like, NO jobs anywhere else?
Q: Why?

A: Yes
A: Because it just sort of happened
A: We don't know—if David has any say it will be south, south, south
A: Yes–likeohmygod
A: Because NoVa just doesn't feel like home—it's too busy, impersonal, congested, plain, busy

We don't want to move because we're lonely or don't have anyone to talk to—in reality we have a number of really great friends who live nearby and who are very dear to us. We go to dinner parties with them, we see movies with them, we go to karaoke and out for drinks and ice skating and afternoon shopping trips with them. We watch football with them, when there's football to watch. We even have a small group that we see and have dinner with once a week. We have a church that we attend regularly. We have some family less than an hour away. We are surrounded by love, plans circled on the calendar, things to do, people to talk to. So that's not the problem.

We don't want to move because we think we can find better jobs somewhere else. The truth is there probably isn't a better place in the country right now to find and obtain a job. This place is teeming with them, in many different fields. We are confident that we could find other positions in this area—whether or not they would be exactly what we want to be doing—but it's just that we're not sure that we want them. We know that. We know we can't, theoretically, make as much money somewhere else, or be as career-driven, or as busy. And we don't want those things, we've realized. We don't need to be living in a gated community or driving luxury cars. We want to earn enough to provide for our little family.

We don't want to move because we think it's impossible for us to be happy here. That's silly. What makes us happy is being together, bottom line. No we don't live in an ideal area, or an ideal house, or have the most earth shatteringly exciting jobs right now, but none of that is it. The busyness, the congestion, the weather, the isolation of NoVa is just what we've come to find about it. It is nice to have every store imaginable nearby. It is nice to live 5 minutes from the airport. It is nice to be able to "do city" one day and "do mountains" the next. I know. Plenty of people are happy here. Even we are happy here in our own little way, because at night we snuggle up on our couch and go places—in board games, in conversations, in movies, in our favorite shows, in documentaries. We travel together, and talk along the way, we talk falling into bed at night, we talk in our sleep. We talk, nose-to-nose, when we wake up in the morning. We're happy, we're just not sure we want to be here right now.

That's it. We think we want something different for a while. A change.

Last week my mother told me: Geographical cures rarely work...

I know that. I thought. Don't you think I know that?

The problem is ... there is no problem. Doesn't a cure require an ailment of some sort that needs fixing?

No, it's not fixing, mending, that we need. It's adventure.

You told me we needed that, too, mama. Do you remember?

Not why. Why not? We don't have children or plans to have children for at least a few more years. We have three dogs—they are our biggest handicap. We don't own a house—we would be happy to leave our cute little dumpy townhouse. We are in a position where we can save up money over the next few months. We have work experience. Plus, we're young'ns. At every possible opportunity, someone reminds us of how young we are, how much life we have left to live, how little we really understand of what's really going on. And we know you're right, we're not offended by that.

We just see it as an "If, Then" conditional concept.

IF we are so young, with so much life left to live, with so much time to screw up and put it all back together and figure it all out, THEN why not go? Why not move to a city, a state where neither of us has ever lived before? Why not meet new neighbors, walk the streets completely blind to what is the norm, what is expected of us? Why not live somewhere that has a climate we enjoy—no snow, warm temps, sunshine. A place that has its own culture, not just lots of diversity in place of an actual culture. A place where people are kind and welcoming. Where we know the names of the people who live next to us. Where there is a sense of community that is greater than just knowing where the local community center is. What is it—what is it exactly that we want? Why not just go and find out? Free, for once, of the burden of knowing everything. Free to get lost. It sounds so good, doesn't it?

It's not a complicated thing, I get that. It's just most people only talk about it and never do it. We think we want to do it. We are talking about doing it. Whatever happens after that is all up to the man upstairs.

Stay tuned.